Caught By the Light
by Euregatto
Summary: Yukio never understood words the way they were meant to be spoken, but he did know the value of a smile. And he would do anything to make Jackie smile.


_I was bored when I wrote this... a lot comes out of my boredom. Anyway, review if you liked.  
><em>_An incite into the relationship of Yukio and Jackie from Yukio's point of view starting with his recruitment into his departure. Just a sibling-story, not a pairing story. I'll answer all your questions._

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><p><em>"Papa"<em>

There is a bright light as I follow this mysterious man into the "apartment".

_"Mama"_

The man is named "Ginjou". He just found me, aware of my "ability" which he calls a "Fullbring". I was "alone" until he came along—my "parents" had just recently killed themselves, since I drained their accounts of money and wired it over to my own.

"Ginjou" thinks I'm "strange" because I don't talk. I do not understand words as I should. My "Papa" and my "Mama" never taught me "words" as they should be spoken; I was a "failure" to them, so I never truly found a reason to "speak". As thus I am strange—a failure—and the cycle repeats.

There are two others in the apartment besides me. One is poised on the couch, nose shoved into the pages of his thin book. The other is older, with a thick mustache and some kind of patch over his right eye. He reminds me a little of a pirate from those books the "Nanny" always used to read to me before "bed time". Book Worm casts a calculated stare up at us as Ginjou shuts the door like he just noticed our presence. He is silent but smirking.

The old man grooms his mustache with one finger, "Is this the boy you told us about?"

"Yes," Ginjou replies, "His name is Yukio. Yukio, meet Tsukishima and Giriko." He glances around, realizing something is missing, "Where did Riruka and Jackie go?"

"Jackie went out to get us lunch," Book Worm replies, returning his attention to the story, "She should be back any minute now. Riruka is taking a nap in the back room… Yukio, am I right?" I do not respond—only shift from foot to foot, waiting for them to jump me for my credit card. "Have a seat, you look tense."

My lips press into a thin line. To my immediate surprise the door behind Ginjou is kicked open and slams into his back, flooring him. I whirl around as a young woman with a large bag in her hand appears in the doorway, a grin splitting open her face, "I'm back!"

"ITA!" Ginjou screams into the floor to muffle his noise, "DAMMIT JACKIE THAT HURT! YOU FREAKING BITCH! No wonder Riruka keeps kicking the door in, she's picking up your habits!"

"Jackie" shrugs him off, passing by me to drop the bag to the counter, "Quit complaining! It's your fault for standing there!" She faces me, raking her fingers through her raven-black hair, "And who's the kid?"

I scoot back an inch or two, terrified for my life.

"The new guy," Giriko informs her as he starts to divide the portions of food onto plates.

Jackie kneels down to my height and the first thing I notice is her feet—her boots are shiny… very shiny. "New kid, huh?" She brushes my blonde bangs out of my face—gently—and I almost cringe at the unfamiliar contact. "And what gorgeous green eyes! Why ever would you hide them like that?" I say nothing; her voice is so gentle and caring, "I'm assuming you don't talk?"

"He only gave me his name," Ginjou mentions, carrying two plates of food over to the center table before the couch "Tsukishima" is sitting on. He gives one to the book worm. "I'm thinking he's just shy."

"What's all this racket?" A girl about my age enters from the back room, so I guess her name is "Riruka". She is rubbing at crust in her eyes, "I was having such a nice dream!"

"Dinner is here," Giriko tells her and gestures to the plate on the counter, "Come take yours."

Riruka notices me, "Who's he?"

"Yukio, our new member," Giriko sounds a little impatient now, "Come eat! I know how you get on an empty stomach." Riruka sits at the small kitchen table and Giriko gives her her dinner. She dives into her meal and ignores me.

Jackie picks some lint from my shirt, "I'm Jackie! Welcome to Xcution."

I purse my lips, "Jackie…?" My brain worked in "strange" ways, but really I was viewing this situation through "Cause and Effect"—so calling her "Jackie" would appeal to her most and she would accept me. That's how it worked with my "parents"… for the most part. She is part of the group better known as "Xcution".

Ginjou glances up at me, "He speaks! Jeez, what's with you and kids, Jackie?"

She rolls her eyes, "Ignore him. What do you know about us already?"

I reach into my pocket and pull out my game system, the one I received when I was younger. "Invaders Must Die." Slowly a perfect replica of Ginjou materializes behind me, flickering only slightly. I switch to a replica of Jackie, which seems to intrigue her, and then switch off my system so it fades. "That's it."

Jackie tousles my hair, "You'll learn."

Funny, that's why my parents said, too.

One week later I find myself lounging at the kitchen table with Jackie sitting across from me. She's flipping through a magazine. "Jackie…" I start, but instead of meeting her gaze I keep focused on the level in my game, "How old are you?"

"Four years older than you," She responds, returning to her attention to her page, "I'm seventeen, almost eighteen."

"Oh…" I manipulate my game a little so I can easily beat the boss.

"Tell me," She turns the magazine sideways to get a better angle of the picture, "Ginjou says you only talk when I'm around. Is that true?"

Here we go—the cycle starts. "I… only want to appeal to others… because my parents never taught me to speak. I learned that calling them _Mama_ and_ Papa_ appeased them, as does calling you _Jackie_. To them I was a failure… so they shut me away in a _boring_, **spacious** **room**. I am afraid of being a _failure_ and that you'll lock me away, so I only speak using words that will appeal to you."

She snorts, laughs, "Oh, Yukio! You're insane! I would_ never_ let anyone lock you away!"

I catch her glistening gaze from beneath my blonde bangs, "R-really…?"

"I promise."

"_Promise_… what's that?" I contemplate it for a moment.

She arches an eyebrow, "Well… you see, when someone makes a promise they make an agreement. So, I _agree_ to never let the Xcution lock you away for being a failure."

I take her word for it… which I assume is also part of this _promise_.

Another two weeks later Jackie seems to be edgy, irritable enough to make Riruka—who is only five months younger than me and accuses the world of pissing her off—seem as happy as a clam, and keeps eating everything in the apartment. I try not to bother her mostly out of fear of receiving a "boot to the head" like Ginjou after he mentioned the "bags" under her eyes, but at the same time I am very curious as to what caused such an abrupt change in behavior.

"Ts-Tsukishima…" I utter to the man reclined on the love seat. Across the room Jackie screams at Ginjou and chucks her second boot at him. He ducks and it impacts the wall, leaving a nice dent.

Tsukishima glances up at me from his book, "Yes?"

"What's wrong with Jackie?"

He casts a stare over his shoulder as Ginjou and Jackie wrestle to the floor. "She's… Uh… When a woman… er… How do I explain this?" His characteristic smile fades, "Jackie is a woman. Women are emotional train wrecks just waiting to happen… I suggest you get used to it, because Riruka is going to enter the same stage soon enough."

I try to piece together his words but fall short of the mark. "Oh. How long will she be like this?"

He shrugs impassively, "A week at most… and in a few weeks we get to repeat the cycle."

I frown, falling silent again. Later into the evening Jackie eats enough to keep her hibernating through the winter, complains about being "fat", and then falls asleep on the couch. Giriko is out with Riruka—who was far too afraid to linger under the same roof as Jackie—and he calls us to ask if we want anything "special" from the store. I want to wake Jackie up but I also want to keep my head.

Ginjou says she'll be pissed if we wake her, but she'll also "flip" if she finds out we didn't ask her what she wanted from the store. Out-voted two-to-one I am forced to approach her with a stick in my hand. I prod her shoulder, "J-Jackie? Wake up…" Groggily her arm reaches out and she grabs the stick, snapping it in half. That could have just been my hand right there! "J-Jackie…?"

"What?" She mumbles, "I don't want any cake… I want the damn curly fries!" Her arms snap open, startling me as she grabs my wrists. She pulls me down so my back is to her chest, my head on her arm, her face in the back of my hair. "Of course we'll go home after this, Jaime…"

My eyebrow twitches. "Jackie… let me go please…" Heated liquid soaks through to my scalp, and I realize she's crying… in her sleep.

On my fourteenth birthday one month after joining Xcution, Jackie grabs me by my elbow and drags me out into town. I've learned from the last few weeks spent with Xcution that Jackie had a hard past so I should be as polite to her as possible—although Ginjou mentions sometimes that I'm "sarcastic"—and if she wanted to do something just shut up and tag along.

She informs me it is my "birthday"—obviously—and that she would get me whatever I wanted. I reply abruptly, "I don't want anything."

"But everyone wants something on their birthday! What kind of kid are you?"

"I am not a kid I am an adolescence!" I defend, "And I don't know what I want. Can we just get something to eat?"

She frowns, "I have an idea!" Her hand clamps my wrist and she tows me over to some fancy "hat" place. That day I had my first slice of "pizza" and she bought me a black "cap" which fits comfortably.

However, I never quite mustered up the courage to ask her who "Jamie" is.

As days ebb into weeks into months Jackie seems to grow up—grow distant—grow further away from me. Sometimes when the Xcution goes out on the town to watch "fireworks" or go "shopping" I glance at her walking only a single pace faster than me… I have to resist the childish nature to hold her hand.

Wondering if this is my fault, again, I develop a "cold-heart". I care only for myself. Using my wealth I build a new "safe house" for us. Or perhaps it is for me, and I am doing it as a "favor" to Ginjou for "saving" me. Jackie also smiles less and according to Tsukishima Riruka has officially entered her "woman stage", so we're going to be in for a "rude awakening".

But if Jackie ever needs someone there to comfort her I will be there, waiting, waiting selfishly for her to fill the empty "void" my parents left behind.

Then, after a pain-staking seven months of feeling that void only grow bigger and my "relationship" with Jackie tearing into threads, I silently enter our new safe house. Jackie and Ginjou don't hear me enter, and they are scolding each other.

"You're treating him like a child!"

"I can't help it! I'm a damn woman!"

"That's not an excuse!" Ginjou lowers his voice, "You with hold him from training. Why? Afraid I'm going to kill him?"

"No!" Jackie is on the verge of tears, "I don't want these kids getting into more than they should! This is a suicide mission fueled only by your desperate need for revenge! And they're just kids!"

"And they know that as well as you. The world hates us, Jackie. You have to let go enough of your past to keep it from blinding you!"

"Why are we having this conversation?"

I interrupt them with a pathetic squeak. "J-Jackie? Kugo?" They glance over at me, startled, "Why are you fighting?"

"We're not fighting," Ginjou hisses, "Just disagreeing. So tell me Jackie, what do you see when you look at him? Do you see Yukio or do you see Jaime? And we both know the answer to that!"

"Shut up!" She almost screams.

He scoffs, "I'm telling you this for your own good! Don't hold him back for your own selfish desires! You're only hurting him!"

"And what are you doing you freaking hypocrite!"

"Saving him!" There is a sudden silence that scares the life out of me. I don't understand adults at all.

Jackie covers a sob behind her hand, "I guess we'll never see eye-to-eye, huh?" Ginjou shakes his head. At least they finally agree on _something_.

After a moment I speak up, "Who's Jaime?"

Ginjou ignores me, "I'll leave you alone… I'm sorry." He approaches me and touches my shoulder, "Yukio, let's go somewhere."

"Don't treat me like a child," I seethe.

He sniggers, "Unfortunately I can't treat you like an adult just yet." I glance at Jackie who collapses on the couch, crying. I've never seen Jackie cry unless it was in her sleep… and honestly it scares me. "Please, I'll buy you lunch."

I finally let him take me away. When we return Giriko is covering Jackie's still form with a blanket, "Ssh, she's asleep. Or do you wish for me to wake her up, Ginjou-san?"

Riruka, seated at the bar, groans, "I wish I could sleep whenever I want! But noooo, I have to train!"

Ginjou rolls his eyes, "Let her rest, she's teetering on the verge of a mental breakdown."

Tsukishima, poised on the loveseat, sighs, "Not again… We've already been through this once before." I wonder what they're talking about, but ignore it. The more I care the less sense I can make out of this. "Who votes we go see a movie?"

Ginjou opens his mouth to respond, but he seems to cast a glare at Jackie and soften, "Yeah… that sounds like a good idea. You guys are always so overworked. We can use a break."

They file out the door. Ginjou turns to me, "Are you coming?"

"No," I shake my head, "I want to talk to her when she wakes up."

He understands and leaves. Some hours later Jackie wakes up, glances over at me… but instead of smiling she frowns, "Oh, Yukio… where is everyone?"

"They should be back soon."

"OK…" She rolls over and pulls the blanket up to her shoulders. She is silent.

"Jackie, who's Jaime?"

The clock is ticking ominously. "He… was my little brother…" She sighs, "He died in my arms when I was about nine years old. His blood stained my boots and activated my Fullbring."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." She curls up, "It's mine for not being able to save them."

I say nothing. And that's the last time I see Jackie smile.

After a while things seem less fun with the Xcution—I contemplate leaving all together, although Tsukishima makes a joke about me being the main source of "funding"—and Jackie is keeping to herself more than usual. Giriko tries to cheer me up by saying, "She goes through certain phases… she'll be fine in a few days."

Those few days turn into few weeks, and then years pass… and one day Jackie just isn't there. I sense her presence up on the roof and find her leaning against the railing, staring out on the town.

"Jack…" I frown, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah…" She sighs, "I've been wondering… lately… I want my Fullbring gone, but… if I keep it what do I have to protect?"

"You can protect me!" I offer, jabbing my chest with my thumb, "I'm an important person y'know!"

She shakes her head, "You are, aren't you? Can you promise me something then?"

"Sure."

"If it seems like I'm in a bit of a jam… against someone, such as a Soul Reaper, or a Hollow… could you use your power to kill us both?"

My heart skips a beat. "J-Jackie… What the hell?"

"Please," she turns to me and grips my shoulders, "Do it for me." But before she can say anything else I run. "WAIT!"

Run.

"YUKIO!"

_Run_.

"STOP!"

And don't look back, because I am afraid if I do I just might make a decision I will regret.

Some months later, when Jackie and I are only on "single paragraph speaking terms" Ichigo comes into the picture. I can't help but feel the anger boil in my chest when the first smile received from Jackie in a long time comes out of the realization that this puppet boy will free her from a pain I still can't comprehend.

Jackie wanted me to make a_ promise_ to her… so I kept that promise, and only a few minutes after our fights against the "Soul Reapers" begin I collapse the dimension on her.

Unfortunately she sacrifices herself for that annoying man with hair like fire. He made her smile.

Why can't **I** make her smile like that?

And, when I realize that I may be "alone" now with nothing else to do and no one else to care about me, she appears. My pride keeps me from screaming and hugging her like I never want to let her go again—that would be too childish.

She no longer has a Fullbring, and as confusing a woman as she is she complains about not having it. She also thinks our Fullbrings brought us together—that's not how it works. I'm not "linked" to anyone but her because she can fill the void in my life no one else can.

I understand now, though, I can make the pain go away.

So, I walk away and tell her that I will be back for her, as a "man", and that I'll hire her (and possibly everyone else). I'll never let her go again. Ever. And she understands my resolve, so she smiles.

"We'll be waiting."

_You'll be waiting._

After all, Jackie deserves to smile. She had so much to smile for.

Finally I understand. So, I smile too.


End file.
